In a move that has left the LGBTQ+ community simultaneously baffled and mildly nauseated, tech giant, 'Innovate4Profit', CEO Chad Thundercock, announced the abrupt cancellation of all Pride-related merchandise while simultaneously launching a dazzling new line of rainbow-branded tech gadgets.

'We've decided to pivot,' Chad explained, his perfectly sculpted eyebrows arching in a way that suggested he'd just discovered the secret to eternal youth... and possibly also the exact shade of pastel pink that maximizes millennial marketing potential. 'The old Pride stuff... it was… *last* year's algorithm. This new line, however, is a groundbreaking exploration of *fluid* technology. Get it? Fluid? Like gender? We're *so* woke.'

The 'FluidTech' line includes items such as the 'Gender-Neutral Gaming Console' (which inexplicably only comes in pink and purple), the 'Pansexual Power Bank' (capable of charging up to three devices…or maybe just two, depending on your relationship status), and the 'Queer-Coded Keyboard' (featuring a rainbow backlight that changes colors every time you hit the 'delete' key - a feature that's proven particularly popular with those who've regretted coming out to their families).

Activist groups have responded with a mix of confusion and a desperate need for a strong mimosa. 'Is this some sort of ironic commentary on corporate performativity?' asked Brenda Handbag, a local activist known for her meticulously curated Instagram feed. 'Or did Chad just accidentally spill a vat of rainbow sherbet on his spreadsheet and mistake it for a marketing strategy?'

Meanwhile, sales of the 'FluidTech' line are soaring. 'It's not about the message, it's about the *aesthetic*, honey,' said one consumer, clutching her iridescent 'Pansexual Power Bank' like a prized Tamagotchi. 'And besides, it's *Instagrammable*. That's all that matters these days.'

Whether this is a genuine act of corporate social responsibility, a brilliantly calculated marketing ploy, or simply Chad Thundercock's latest attempt to out-woke himself, one thing remains certain: the line between genuine allyship and rainbow-washed capitalism has become blurrier than a unicorn's tear in a disco ball.