In a stunning reversal that has left the internet both baffled and slightly nauseous with delight, Barnaby Butterfield, CEO of Butterfield's Butts (a surprisingly successful artisanal buttocks-themed candle company), has announced his dramatic shift from 'anti-woke' hardliner to the self-proclaimed 'supreme overlord of inclusivity.' Just last month, Butterfield famously cancelled his company's 'Queer for Candles' hiring initiative, citing concerns about 'the overwhelming influx of fabulousness' disrupting the 'perfectly heterosexual' production line. This sparked outrage (mostly among those concerned about the lack of Pride-themed candles).

However, following a three-hour guided meditation session involving crystals, essential oils, and a surprisingly intense interpretive dance routine to Lizzo's 'About Damn Time,' Butterfield underwent a complete ideological metamorphosis. His new vision? A workplace so diverse, it's practically a pride parade exploded in a rainbow-colored factory. Expect mandatory drag queen bingo on Tuesdays, gender-neutral bathrooms equipped with aromatherapy diffusers, and a company-wide initiative to replace all existing furniture with hand-carved, sustainably sourced unicorn horns.

'I was wrong,' Butterfield confessed, sporting a newly acquired rainbow-colored toupee and a sequined waistcoat. 'My previous stance was…well, let's just say it reeked of outdated patriarchy. Now, I see the light! Or rather, the multitude of lights, in a fabulous prismatic display of acceptance!' His statement ended with a tear-jerking anecdote about finding his inner truth while gazing at a particularly flamboyant peacock. Sources say he's now actively researching the feasibility of renaming the company to 'Butterfield's Bountiful Bisexual Bonanza.'

While some applaud this sudden about-face, others remain skeptical. Conservative groups have expressed concern, fearing that the new initiatives may lead to a drastic increase in productivity, employee morale, and overall company profits. 'It's just not natural,' grumbled one disgruntled employee, clinging to his traditional burlap sack lunch. But for Butterfield, the path forward is clear: 'More glitter, more inclusivity, more unicorn horns! It's all about embracing the magical rainbow of diversity, darling!'