In a move that's left political commentators scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral eyebrows, Senator Barnaby Butterfield has publicly declared his unwavering support for transgender rights while simultaneously opposing transgender women competing in women's sports. Butterfield, a man whose fitness regime reportedly involves exclusively consuming kale smoothies and quoting inspirational Instagram captions, explained his position with the clarity of a muddled TikTok trend.

"Look," he declared, gesturing wildly with a hand clutching a half-eaten avocado toast, "I'm all about inclusivity! Trans women are women, PERIODT! But... when it comes to basketball, well, that's where we draw the line. We can't have them, you know, *dominating* the court! It's about fairness! And by fairness, I mean, cisgender women need to feel comfortable losing, not, like, *actually* losing. You know? Like, maybe to a... slightly less... *athletic* woman?"

Critics have labelled Butterfield's stance as the athletic equivalent of the 'I support gay marriage but not *that* gay marriage' argument, arguing that his logic is about as solid as a Kardashian's commitment to monogamy. One particularly vocal activist, wearing a shirt featuring a glittery image of RuPaul with angel wings, slammed Butterfield's comments as "the peak of performative allyship."

Furthermore, the internet has exploded with memes, depicting Butterfield's conflicting stance as everything from a paradoxical Jenga tower to a meticulously crafted kaleidoscope of contradictions. One particularly popular meme shows Butterfield facing off against a fierce transgender basketball player, the caption reading: "Butterfield vs. The Patriarchy (and also, uh, maybe a really good three-pointer)."

When asked for comment, Butterfield simply replied, "I'm going to go meditate on this while listening to Lizzo and eating some quinoa. Namaste."