In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and ablaze with memes featuring a very confused-looking Chad, mega-corporation 'MegaCorp' CEO, Chad Thundercock (yes, really), has banned all LGBTQ+ symbols from the workplace while *simultaneously* launching a dazzling new line of rainbow-themed products. Think less 'subtle support,' more 'full-blown technicolor explosion designed to blind you with its sheer, capitalist rainbow.'

Thundercock, in a press release that somehow managed to be both aggressively corporate and vaguely apologetic, explained the apparent paradox: "We believe in diversity and inclusion…within the confines of our aggressively profitable rainbow-themed product line. We're not saying the Pride flag is *bad*, it's just… less *efficient* than a strategically placed rainbow-striped USB charging cable. Think of it as… optimized inclusivity!"

Critics, naturally, are having a field day. One prominent activist, identified only as 'Brittany Spears-esque' (due to an overwhelming resemblance and an equally potent aura of pop-culture relevance), commented, "It’s like they’re trying to weaponize glitter. It's corporate rainbow-washing at its finest! They're basically saying, 'We love gay people… as long as they're buying our overpriced, rainbow-branded mediocrity.'"

Meanwhile, social media is awash with hilarious memes depicting Thundercock as everything from a benevolent, rainbow-hued overlord to a villain straight out of a campy superhero movie. One particularly viral image shows him dramatically unveiling the new rainbow-themed stapler, captioned: "The most inclusive stapler in the history of capitalism! (No refunds.)"

The irony, of course, is delicious. By banning visible symbols of LGBTQ+ pride while simultaneously cashing in on rainbow aesthetics, MegaCorp has perfectly captured the often-satirized essence of modern corporate social responsibility – a carefully constructed façade of inclusivity built on a foundation of relentless profit maximization. It's a spectacle so absurd, so wonderfully over-the-top, that one can't help but laugh… or cry… or maybe just buy a rainbow-colored fidget spinner. Because, you know, gotta support the rainbow, even if it's suspiciously profitable.

This leaves us, the perpetually confused public, to grapple with a crucial question: Is this the dawn of a brave new era of hyper-capitalist, rainbow-infused inclusivity, or just a brilliantly executed marketing ploy? Only time, and the sales figures of MegaCorp's new line of glitter-encrusted toilet brushes, will tell.