In a move that has sent shockwaves through the nation (and possibly triggered a few homophobic aneurysms), Mayor Mildred McMillan of Millville, Montana, has announced the cancellation of this year's Pride parade. However, fear not, LGBTQ+ allies! In a stunning display of…something…the Mayor has instead decreed that the rainbow flag will become the city's official logo, effectively making Millville the 'Gayest Little Town That Could' (and probably causing a significant spike in tourism from confused, slightly homophobic bingo players).

'It's a paradigm shift!' proclaimed Mayor McMillan, sporting a rainbow-sequined jumpsuit and a suspiciously large, novelty-sized peace sign earring. 'We're not just celebrating Pride, we're *infiltrating* it! Millville's very essence will be a shimmering testament to love and acceptance! Think of it as Pride…but permanently affixed to every single piece of city-issued stationery. Even the parking tickets!'

Conservative groups are predictably outraged, claiming this bold move is nothing short of 'a socialist, rainbow-colored coup d'état.' One particularly irate resident, Barnaby Butterfield (who described himself as a 'proud heterosexual baker with a severe gluten intolerance'), was overheard muttering about 'rainbow-flavored tyranny' and 'the insidious infiltration of glitter'.

Meanwhile, local drag queen, Tiffany Thighhighs, responded with characteristic flair: 'Honey, this is just the beginning. Next, we're demanding rainbow-colored potholes and a city-wide interpretive dance celebrating the glory of the gender spectrum! Get ready for the fabulous, folks, because Millville is about to become the new Sodom…but, like, a really, really *fabulous* Sodom.'

Experts predict this decision will create a black hole of inclusivity, sucking in anyone who dares to judge a book by its cover (or a city by its logo). And who knows? Maybe Millville will become the new LGBTQ+ mecca, attracting thousands of tourists eager to witness the sheer, flamboyant audacity of a town that replaced a parade with a permanent, rainbow-branded existence. Or maybe Barnaby Butterfield will finally find gluten-free bread that doesn't taste like sadness. Only time will tell.