In a move that has left political pundits scratching their perfectly-manicured, gender-neutral nails, Senator Bigglesworth Butterfield III, known for his staunch traditionalist views (and surprisingly impressive collection of porcelain dolls), has banned rainbow flags from all state buildings. Simultaneously, he's unveiled 'Rainbowlicious,' a pastel-hued cafe featuring a menu so aggressively inclusive, it practically requires a diversity visa to order.

'It's about balance,' Butterfield explained in a press conference, surrounded by strategically placed potted plants (rumored to be meticulously chosen for their non-binary floral arrangements). 'We must preserve our heritage, but also embrace the vibrant tapestry of…uh…rainbow-colored sprinkles.'

The cafe, which serves everything from 'Gender-Neutral Gluten-Free Cupcakes' to 'Queer-Eyed Quiches,' is already causing a stir. Critics are calling it everything from a 'masterstroke of subversive queer coding' to a 'calculated attempt to normalize fabulousness.'

One outraged citizen, Mildred McMillan, was seen storming out after being offered a 'Drag Queen Delight' (a strawberry milkshake). 'It's an outrage!' she huffed, clutching her pearl necklace. 'Next thing you know, they'll be serving avocado toast with a side of gender fluidity!' (Interestingly, the cafe does, in fact, serve avocado toast with a side of gender fluidity – it's a highly popular item).

Meanwhile, a coalition of drag queens has formed a picket line outside the state capitol, demanding that the senator's ban only applies to flags that aren't at least 75% glitter. 'It's about representation, darling,' proclaimed Trixie Mattelson, holding a sign that read 'Make America Sparkle Again.'

As for Butterfield, he remains unfazed. Sources say he's already planning his next move: a line of 'straight-but-not-narrow' ties, and a fundraiser featuring a performance by RuPaul's Drag Race alumni and a live auction of signed photos of him with his porcelain dolls.