In a stunning turn of events that's got the internet buzzing more than a Beyoncé concert, Pastor Bob Dole (yes, *that* Bob Dole), known for his fire-and-brimstone sermons vehemently condemning gay marriage, has inadvertently become the unexpected darling of the LGBTQ+ community. During his latest Sunday sermon, a passionate rant against same-sex unions – which included a questionable comparison between homosexuality and the consumption of gluten-free bread – inexplicably sparked a viral meme frenzy.
The meme, featuring a heavily photoshopped image of Pastor Dole sporting rainbow wings and a tiara while serenading a group of drag queens with a Mariah Carey power ballad, quickly garnered millions of views. Suddenly, Dole's Instagram, previously showcasing only pictures of suspiciously blurry 'church potlucks,' was flooded with supportive comments from prominent LGBTQ+ activists, including a particularly enthusiastic message from Laverne Cox herself.
"Honey, he's giving 'I'm sorry I called your existence an abomination, but can we still be besties?' and I'm HERE for it," Cox reportedly commented.
Experts attribute the unexpected surge in popularity to the unintentional humor of Dole's sermon. His unintentionally hilarious pronouncements about 'the devil's agenda of rainbow-colored cupcakes' and his claim that 'all gays secretly enjoy Barry Manilow' have been dubbed 'accidental comedy gold.'
Dole, initially bewildered by the sudden influx of followers and acceptance, has seized the opportunity, announcing the launch of a 'Repentance Retreat' in Palm Springs. The retreat, featuring drag brunches, 'finding your inner goddess' workshops, and surprisingly effective 'conversion therapy' (of the entirely affirming variety, we're assured), is already fully booked. He even plans a special keynote speech at this year's Pride Parade – with a rumored performance by none other than Adam Lambert.
The irony is delicious, of course. But as Dole himself puts it (in an exclusive interview given via TikTok, naturally): "Bless your hearts, darlings. Turns out, the Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways – and occasionally, through viral memes and a really good pair of stilettos."
