In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and incandescent with rage (mostly the latter, let's be honest), the CEO of MegaCorp, Chad Thundercock, has banned rainbow flags from the company premises while simultaneously hosting a lavish, invite-only 'Pride Celebration' for select employees. Sources inside the 'Gayborhood Gala' (as it was reportedly dubbed on the ultra-exclusive, password-protected invitation) describe a scene of unparalleled opulence: a drag queen performance by a suspiciously accurate RuPaul impersonator, a three-tiered cake shaped like a gender-fluid unicorn, and enough artisanal kombucha to tranquilize a small nation.

Thundercock, in a statement released through his publicist (who identifies as a non-binary sentient avocado), explained the baffling dichotomy: "Look, rainbows are… distracting. They disrupt the flow of maximum productivity. But inclusivity? Inclusivity is *essential* for maximum productivity. It’s all about strategic wokeness, darling. We're using a targeted approach, a sort of… guerrilla inclusion, if you will."

Critics, however, are having none of it. One particularly irate commenter on MegaCorp's Facebook page (which is now, mysteriously, accepting only applications from users with profile pictures featuring at least three different pronouns) raged, "This is blatant tokenism! They’re playing us for fools! …Where do I sign up for the Gayborhood Gala?"

Meanwhile, employees not invited to the 'Gayborhood Gala' are rumored to be planning their own counter-protest, involving rainbow-colored confetti cannons and a very large, very confusing interpretive dance about the socio-economic implications of heteronormative capitalism. Stay tuned for further developments, or, you know, don't. Your choice. Either way, we’ll be here chronicling the chaotic unfolding of this woke-tastic saga.