In a development that has sent shockwaves through the already fragile ecosystem of Fox News' makeup counters, beloved (by some) conservative TV host, Chad Thundercock, has officially tied the knot with renowned LGBTQ+ activist and artisanal pickle entrepreneur, Bartholomew 'Barty' Butterfield. Thundercock, known for his staunchly traditional views (and surprisingly high-pitched giggle), vehemently denies being gay despite photographic evidence showing him holding hands with Butterfield while wearing matching 'Love is Love' sequined vests.

'It's a ruse!' Thundercock bellowed in a statement released via carrier pigeon (apparently, email is too 'woke' for him). 'A deeply strategic, years-long undercover mission to infiltrate the homosexual community and expose their… their… pickle-based conspiracy to control the world's supply of dill! Yes, dill!' This explanation, while lacking in clarity, seemed to satisfy his fanbase, who immediately launched a GoFundMe to fund Thundercock's further undercover investigations. They were seen carrying signs reading, 'Chad, we believe you! (Unless the pickles are really good)'

Butterfield, sporting a dazzling rainbow-colored tuxedo, remained tight-lipped except for a cryptic tweet that simply said, '#PicklesAreLife #MarriageEquality #OperationDillDomination.' The wedding cake, a magnificent three-tiered masterpiece depicting Thundercock riding a unicorn while battling a giant jar of mayonnaise (a known enemy of pickles), is already being touted as a symbol of inclusivity and the triumph of love over... whatever the heck Chad was talking about.

Experts are divided on the implications. Some suggest this is a brilliant performance art piece highlighting the absurdity of closeted homophobia. Others believe it's simply evidence of the world's impending pickle-based apocalypse. Either way, the memes are glorious. The hashtag #ChadGotButterflied is trending globally, showcasing a plethora of images featuring Chad inexplicably photoshopped into various LGBTQIA+ pride parades.