In a stunning display of… something, conservative radio host, Bartholomew “Bart” Bigglesworth, known for his staunch opposition to ‘woke’ culture and the very existence of non-binary genders, has legally changed his name to ‘They/Themself McMuffin.’ Sources say the change came after a particularly grueling segment on the dangers of ‘gender ideology’ where he tripped over his tongue trying to pronounce ‘Mx.’
"It was a revelation," Bigglesworth (or should we say, McMuffin?) explained in an exclusive interview conducted entirely in interpretive dance. "The sheer, unadulterated *inconvenience* of resisting the tide of progress led me to a profound understanding of the fluidity of identity! It’s like… finding out that your favorite casserole recipe secretly calls for kale. You hate kale, but you have to admit, it *does* add a certain… je ne sais quoi."
The change has sent shockwaves through the conservative media landscape. Fox News pundits are reportedly locked in a heated debate over whether to use ‘he/him’ pronouns for McMuffin, fearing it might accidentally endorse the very ideology they are so fiercely against. One commentator, described as ‘a walking, talking MAGA hat,’ was overheard muttering about the ‘deep state’ and its insidious plot to infiltrate conservative media via delicious breakfast sandwiches.
Naturally, social media has exploded. #TheyThemselfMcMuffin is trending globally, with many users questioning whether this is a brilliant troll, a desperate attempt at relevance, or simply the beginning of the end times. One user posted a meme showing McMuffin as the iconic ‘Crying Jordan’ meme, with the caption: ‘When you realize you’ve unintentionally created the most effective pro-trans campaign of all time.’
Meanwhile, LGBTQ+ activists are split. Some are celebrating the ironic victory, while others remain skeptical, pointing out that McMuffin’s previous rhetoric clearly suggests a lack of genuine allyship. One activist summed up the situation perfectly: "It's like receiving a hate letter that's also a donation to your favorite charity. It's confusing, a little bit gross, but also… oddly effective?"
Regardless of the underlying motives, one thing is clear: They/Themself McMuffin has officially entered the cultural lexicon, proving that even the most steadfast opponents of inclusivity can accidentally become its greatest champions. It seems the only thing more powerful than homophobia is a really good breakfast sandwich.
