In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly caused a few aneurysms), Chad Thundercock, the notoriously square-jawed action star known for his roles in films like 'Explosions and More Explosions 2: Electric Boogaloo,' has vehemently denied rumors of bisexuality, only to immediately join the cast of 'RuPaul's Drag Race: Season 57.'

Sources close to Thundercock claim he was 'blindsided' by the accusations of being anything other than aggressively, unapologetically heterosexual. "Chad? Bi? That's preposterous! He once used a spork incorrectly," exclaimed his publicist, Brenda, adding with a nervous chuckle, "...and that's far more shocking." However, just hours later, RuPaul's Instagram exploded with a photo of Thundercock, flawlessly lipsynced, wearing a glittering sequined dress and a five-inch heel, alongside the caption: "Honey, he's *finally* found his truth. Get ready to sashay away, Chad!"

The internet, naturally, went into overdrive. Some commentators expressed outrage, citing this as yet another example of 'woke' Hollywood imposing its 'radical agenda' on unsuspecting heterosexuals. Others (mostly queer people and their allies) celebrated this as a beautiful victory for queer visibility and the inherent absurdity of rigid gender roles. One Twitter user, @KarenFromSuburbia69, posted, "This is the end of civilization as we know it! I’m writing to my congressman! Also, where can I buy that dress? It’s fabulous!"

Experts on the intersection of masculinity and drag are baffled but intrigued. "Chad's sudden embrace of his inner queen is a fascinating case study in the fluid nature of identity," stated Dr. Agnes Periwinkle, a renowned gender studies professor. "It certainly challenges our assumptions about what 'straight' even means in the 21st century. Also, could we get a close-up of that wig? I'm obsessed!"

This unexpected development has left one question hanging in the air: Will Chad Thundercock's journey on 'RuPaul's Drag Race' be a testament to the power of self-discovery or a meticulously crafted publicity stunt? Only time (and Season 57) will tell. But one thing's for sure: the battle between heteronormativity and fabulousness has officially reached epic proportions. And the fabulousness is winning, darling.