In a plot twist more dramatic than the finale of *Schitt's Creek*, Mildred Crabtree, the perpetually frowning history teacher known for banning all mention of 'anything remotely rainbow-colored' from her classroom (including, inexplicably, rainbow sherbet), has been crowned Pride Ambassador at Northwood High.

The transformation, witnesses say, was instantaneous. One minute, Mrs. Crabtree was confiscating a student's 'Love is Love' sticker with the ferocity of a Karen defending the last pumpkin spice latte, the next, she was leading a conga line of students in full drag, sporting a sequined unicorn headband and proclaiming her newfound love for 'gender-fluid pronouns and fabulous footwear.'

The school's explanation? A 'miraculous epiphany' induced by a particularly potent batch of vegan cupcakes baked by the Gay-Straight Alliance. (Sources close to the GSA insist the cupcakes contained only ethically sourced, organic ingredients and an 'enormous amount of love.')

Initially, the internet reacted with the digital equivalent of collective gasps. Memes exploded – images of Mrs. Crabtree's pre-transformation scowl juxtaposed with her post-transformation glitter-bomb explosion were shared with the speed of light. One particularly popular meme dubbed her 'The Woke-est Witch in the West,' a mashup of the Wicked Witch of the West and Beyoncé.

However, what started as a culture war battleground has morphed into a strangely unifying force. Mrs. Crabtree, now affectionately known as 'Queen Mildred,' has become a symbol of unexpected acceptance. Her once-infamous 'No LGBTQ+ events' policy has been replaced with a school-wide drag show featuring a special guest appearance by RuPaul (rumored to have received a 'substantial donation' of those aforementioned vegan cupcakes).

This whole situation has left us scratching our heads and wondering: Will this inspire other curmudgeonly teachers to ditch their outdated views and embrace the rainbow? Only time, and the next batch of magically inclusive cupcakes, will tell.