In a plot twist more dramatic than a RuPaul's Drag Race elimination, Pastor Mike Rivers, renowned for his fiery anti-gay sermons that could curdle milk at 50 paces, officiated the wedding of Chad Michaels and Dylan Brock, two hunky interior designers whose Instagram feed is a kaleidoscope of succulents, avocado toast, and perfectly coordinated athleisure wear. The ceremony, held last Tuesday in a repurposed bowling alley (because, let's face it, who needs stained-glass windows when you have neon?), was described by one attendee as 'a transcendent experience, like finding a perfectly ripe mango in a basket of slightly bruised ones.'

Pastor Rivers, sporting a rainbow-colored clerical collar (a 'divine revelation,' he claimed), reportedly choked back tears during the vows, murmuring, 'Bless your beautiful, gay hearts!' Sources say he even incorporated a 'Vogue' dance break during the reception, though his moves were described by a skeptical wedding guest as 'more interpretive dance than ballroom.'

This unexpected turn of events has sent ripples of confusion, and possibly some mild existential crises, throughout the local community. One particularly flustered church elder, Beatrice Grimshaw, was overheard muttering, 'I thought he was going to condemn them to eternal darn-ing!' Meanwhile, Chad and Dylan have launched a GoFundMe to fund Pastor Mike's 'spiritual journey' – specifically, a trip to RuPaul's DragCon. The campaign's slogan? 'From hellfire to high heels – one gay wedding at a time!'

When questioned about this abrupt 180-degree turn in his theology, Pastor Rivers simply winked and replied, 'Honey, sometimes the Holy Spirit just wants you to embrace the fabulous.' He then reportedly excused himself to perfect his 'Death Drop' for the upcoming drag show fundraiser for the local LGBTQ+ youth center. This, he explained with a flourish, was 'God's work, darling'.