In a stunning turn of events that's left the internet in a state of bewildered glee (and the homophobes in a state of apoplectic fury), notorious anti-gay marriage politician, Bob 'Bigot' Bartholomew, unexpectedly officiated the wedding of two flamboyant drag queens, Chad and Trina, last Saturday. Bartholomew, known for his staunch opposition to 'the lifestyle' (his words, not ours – we prefer 'fabulousness'), presided over a ceremony described as 'a kaleidoscope of glitter, camp, and utter bewilderment.'

Sources say that Bartholomew, initially hesitant (or maybe just severely under the influence of something potent), was persuaded by Chad's incredibly persuasive argument involving a lifetime supply of glitter and a promise to name their first chihuahua after him. The ceremony, held in a repurposed roller disco, featured a choreographed dance routine to 'Vogue' by Madonna, a surprisingly heartfelt rendition of 'I Will Survive' by the happy couple, and a bouquet toss that resulted in a minor injury to a nearby pigeon.

'It was…unexpected,' Bartholomew stammered to reporters afterward, clutching a feather boa. 'I… I found myself moved by their love. And the glitter. There was a lot of glitter.' This statement has, understandably, sparked a wave of frantic speculation among his constituents. Some are calling it a political maneuver, while others believe it's evidence of a miraculous 'conversion therapy' performed by the sheer force of Chad and Trina's fabulousness.

'I always knew my sparkle could change the world,' quipped Chad, adjusting his tiara. Trina added, 'Honestly, honey, if a little glitter and a good rendition of 'Dancing Queen' can convince a bigot to officiate our wedding, then maybe there's still hope for humanity after all.'

Meanwhile, the far-right has spiraled into chaos, debating whether this 'blasphemous act' is a sign of the apocalypse, a covert government conspiracy, or simply a really good marketing ploy for glitter manufacturers. Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: the wedding photos are spectacular.