Willow Creek Middle School is buzzing, not from the usual pre-exam anxieties, but from the meteoric rise of former homophobia champion, Mrs. Henderson, to the position of Pride Ambassador. Remember Mrs. Henderson? The woman who single-handedly blocked the school’s Gay-Straight Alliance’s drag queen story time (apparently, RuPaul’s ‘Reading Challenge’ was deemed ‘too suggestive’ for impressionable tweens)? The same Mrs. Henderson who famously equated rainbows with ‘the devil's candy’? Yeah, *that* Mrs. Henderson.

Well, buckle up, buttercups, because she’s had a glow-up. A *kaleidoscopic* glow-up. According to sources (mostly anonymous students who swear they've seen her in a shimmering, sequined jumpsuit), her transformation began with a ‘spiritual awakening’ during a mandatory diversity training session featuring a particularly flamboyant presentation on the history of the genderqueer unicorn. One minute she was clutching her pearls, the next she was clutching…a rainbow-colored feather boa.

Now, Mrs. Henderson is apparently “deconstructing her internalized biphobia” (we're not entirely sure what that entails, but it involves a lot of glitter and Taylor Swift karaoke), and actively promotes inclusivity with the zeal of a newly ordained rainbow warrior. The school’s LGBTQ+ club now holds weekly ‘Queer Baking’ sessions supervised by Mrs. Henderson herself (don’t worry, parents, the cupcakes are entirely gluten and hate-free). She even claims she’s ‘found her inner queen’, which, admittedly, is a tad ironic given her previous attempts to banish all things queer from the school grounds.

The school principal, a man known only as ‘Mr. Kaleidoscope’ (we’re not making this up), insists the turnaround is a testament to the power of education and acceptance. Critics, however, remain unconvinced, arguing that it’s all a cynical PR stunt to avoid the looming lawsuit filed by the parents who were outraged when their children were subjected to the trauma of seeing a picture of two happy men holding hands in a textbook. Whatever the case, one thing’s for sure: Willow Creek Middle School's next Pride parade will be *legendary*. And Mrs. Henderson? She'll be leading the charge, probably on a float made entirely of recycled glitter and old copies of the ‘Westboro Baptist Church Newsletter’.