In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion – and, let’s be honest, a fair amount of homophobic sputtering – across the internet, Chad Thundercock, the famously square-jawed action star known for his roles in such cinematic masterpieces as *Explosions in Space* and *More Explosions in Space 2: Electric Boogaloo*, has vehemently denied rumors of bisexuality, only to immediately announce his participation in the upcoming season of *RuPaul’s Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience*.

The denial itself was... interesting. Chad, in a statement released through his publicist (who, coincidentally, is a non-binary performance artist specializing in interpretive dance about the patriarchy), stated that he is '100% heterosexual, like a perfectly straight line drawn with a protractor by a certified geometer.' He then added, with a charmingly bewildered expression that was promptly meme-ified, 'But, like, queens are awesome. And this show is gonna be HUGE.'

Naturally, the internet exploded. Conservative pundits are accusing Chad of a 'radical leftist agenda,' predicting the show's downfall due to an alleged 'overdose of glitter and fabulousness.' Others, more progressive, speculated that perhaps Chad was ‘experiencing a transformative journey of self-discovery’ or that he 'simply couldn't resist the allure of a truly exceptional wig collection.' (We're leaning towards the wig theory).

The new season of *RuPaul’s Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience* boasts an all-queer cast, including a genderfluid performance artist named Sparkle McGlitterbottom, a drag queen who bears a suspicious resemblance to Elon Musk, and a bearded lady who's also a certified public accountant. While Chad's role remains a mystery, rumors suggest he'll be playing a closeted villain who eventually finds liberation through the power of drag. Or maybe he'll just be there to provide a hearty laugh at his own expense, as his attempt to do a death drop inevitably ends in a spectacular sprawl. Either way, it’s guaranteed to be spectacularly messy.

In the meantime, the only thing clearer than Chad's supposedly straight trajectory is the delicious irony of a man who denies being bi joining the most flamboyant, gloriously queer show on television. The mind boggles. And honestly, we’re here for it.