In a stunning turn of events that has left the sporting world both bewildered and slightly nauseous, renowned athlete Chad Thundercock (whose real name, we've been reliably informed, is actually Kevin McMuffin) has called for an immediate ban on all rainbow-colored jerseys. His reasoning? 'They're distracting,' he claims, 'too vibrant, too… joyful. It throws off my concentration when I'm trying to aggressively elbow my opponent in the face.'

McMuffin, a three-time gold medalist in competitive staring contests, went on to describe the rainbow aesthetic as 'too much, like a clown's vomit exploded on a unicorn.' He insisted that athletes should be allowed to focus solely on the brutal realities of competitive sport, without the jarring distraction of vibrant colors.

However, in a spectacularly ironic twist, after his impassioned plea, McMuffin unveiled his own revolutionary jersey design, created in collaboration with a team of artisanal llama herders. The jersey, a breathtaking spectacle of clashing patterns and questionable taste, features a shimmering rainbow made entirely of edible glitter (prompting immediate concern from animal rights activists and the local gluten-free bakery), superimposed over a base of Day-Glo orange. To add to the visual cacophony, the sleeves are adorned with tiny, hand-sewn portraits of McMuffin himself, each one slightly more deranged than the last.

'This,' McMuffin declared, gesturing dramatically towards the monstrosity, 'is what a truly *un*distracting jersey looks like. So blindingly awful, it renders all other considerations moot.' He added that he intends to wear it during the upcoming World Championships in Competitive Thumb Wrestling, which should be… interesting.

Experts remain baffled. Leading color psychologist Dr. Prudence Plum stated, 'I've seen some questionable fashion choices in my time, but this… this transcends mere bad taste. It's a portal to another dimension of visual horror.' Meanwhile, betting odds on McMuffin losing his next staring contest have plummeted.