In a stunning display of political hypocrisy that would make even the most seasoned LGBTQ+ activist raise a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, Senator Thaddeus 'The Hammer' Hammersmith, known for his staunch opposition to 'the degeneracy of drag,' has announced the cancellation of all publicly funded drag events in his district. Simultaneously, Hammersmith unveiled his new alter ego: Chad Thundercock, a surprisingly buff drag king whose performances involve oiled-up biceps, interpretive dance routines to Bon Jovi, and surprisingly insightful commentary on the importance of 'traditional family values.'

Hammersmith, in a press conference that began with a rendition of 'Livin' on a Prayer' (complete with air guitar and a surprisingly convincing falsetto), explained his actions. "I love our traditional values," he declared, adjusting his meticulously sculpted goatee. "But true freedom is the freedom to express oneself... as long as that expression aligns perfectly with my own interpretation of traditional values. It’s about personal liberty! A very *masculine* personal liberty!"

Critics, naturally, have gone wild. 'It's like watching a dumpster fire wearing a sequined tuxedo,' commented one anonymous activist, requesting to remain nameless to avoid potential legal action from Hammersmith's surprisingly well-funded legal team. Others have pointed out the stunning irony of a man who advocates for restricting one form of self-expression by engaging in another. "He's basically the Karen of kings," commented drag queen and performance artist, Bob the Drag Queen (no relation). "Except instead of complaining about Starbucks, she's canceling queer joy."

Hammersmith’s next performance, featuring a dazzling display of synchronized powerlifting and a heartfelt rendition of ‘Man in the Mirror,’ is already sold out. Tickets are reportedly being resold on the dark web for significantly more than the face value, proving once again that irony is indeed dead and buried under a mountain of perfectly-toned abs.