In a stunning turn of events that has left the local Baptist community simultaneously clutching their pearls and clutching their metaphorical rainbow flags, Pastor Billy Bob Thornton III, known for his fiery anti-gay sermons that could melt the steel girders of a Pride parade float, has not only officiated the wedding of Chad 'Chadwick' Chaddington and his partner, Kevin 'Kevlar' Kevinson, but also claims to have experienced a profound 'spiritual awakening' involving a glitter bomb and a Kylie Minogue concert.

Thornton, previously known for describing homosexuality as ‘an abomination against God and sensible fashion choices,’ now insists that his previous views were merely a 'misunderstanding' – a misunderstanding fueled, he claims, by a lifetime of watching only Fox News and reruns of 'The 700 Club.'

'God showed me the error of my ways,' Thornton revealed during a post-ceremony interview, whilst sporting a newly acquired rainbow-striped bolo tie. 'It was like...a divine intervention, but with more glitter and less fire. It was fabulous!'

His sudden shift in perspective has naturally ignited a firestorm (pun intended, and this time, wholly intended) of debate. While some congregants have hailed it as a testament to the power of love and acceptance, others claim that the 'awakening' was, in fact, a highly sophisticated, possibly government-funded, gay agenda infiltration operation. One elderly woman, clutching a worn-out copy of 'The Left Behind' series, was overheard muttering, 'They've infiltrated the church...next, they'll be infiltrating my bingo night!'

Chad and Kevin, meanwhile, remain blissfully unaware of the theological maelstrom they've inadvertently unleashed. 'The cake was amazing,' Kevin commented, 'And the pastor's new look? Definitely a ten out of ten. Maybe even an eleven.'

Experts remain divided on whether Thornton's conversion is genuine or a carefully orchestrated publicity stunt – possibly involving a lucrative endorsement deal with a major pride parade float manufacturer. Whatever the reason, one thing’s for certain: the church’s social media presence has exploded, and their donations are higher than ever. So, perhaps the devil really *does* wear Prada...or, in this case, a rainbow-striped bolo tie.