In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously gasping and giggling, Senator Bartholomew Buttersworth, a staunch opponent of ‘all that rainbow nonsense’ (his words, not ours), was unmasked—quite literally—as a surprise attendee at a local drag show. Buttersworth, known for his pearl-clutching pronouncements against ‘the insidious influence of glitter on our youth,’ apparently decided to conduct his own ‘undercover’ investigation into the supposed moral depravity of drag.
His disguise? A truly breathtaking ensemble of a poorly-fitting blonde wig (think Cousin It meets a startled poodle), oversized sunglasses that hid more nose than eye, and a floral muumuu that screamed ‘Grandma’s retirement party gone wrong.’ The effect, as one attendee put it, was less ‘incognito’ and more ‘a walking, talking meme.’
Sources say Buttersworth was immediately captivated by the show's star, ‘Kiki LaRue,’ described by one observer as 'a gender-bending goddess who can work a feather boa like no other.' According to an eyewitness, 'The senator's jaw literally dropped when Kiki launched into a dazzling rendition of 'Born This Way.' He was seen furtively trying to lip-sync along, his muumuu practically vibrating with suppressed excitement.'
But the most memorable moment? When, overcome with emotion during a particularly poignant performance of a Lizzo power ballad, Buttersworth accidentally tripped, ripping a hole in his muumuu and revealing his…well, let's just say his rather sensible, non-drag-queen undergarments. The ensuing chaos saw Kiki LaRue spontaneously crowning him ‘The Most Epic Queen of Accidental Self-Ownage.’
Naturally, the internet has exploded with memes, some featuring Buttersworth’s disastrous disguise juxtaposed with images of RuPaul. The incident has also sparked a renewed debate on the importance of acceptance and inclusivity, prompting one commentator to ask, 'What if, instead of fighting drag, we just embraced the fabulousness?' Senator Buttersworth is currently unavailable for comment, presumably busy frantically trying to acquire a better wig.
