In a twist no one saw coming, former President Donald Trump and tech billionaire Elon Musk have shocked the world by announcing not only their relationship but also their engagement. The power couple shared the news during a joint press conference held at Mar-a-Lago, which featured rainbow confetti cannons and a Tesla Cybertruck adorned with “Just Engaged” decals.

“I’ve had many big, beautiful deals in my life, but this one—this is the greatest,” Trump declared while holding Musk’s hand. “Elon’s rockets may be reaching Mars, but his love has launched me straight to heaven.”

Musk, wearing a tuxedo with sequins shaped like Dogecoin symbols, took the mic next. “When I first saw Donald, I thought—wow, this man has gravitational pull. It’s not just his hair; it’s his charisma,” Musk said. “He’s my personal Space Force.”

From Rivals to Romance
Sources close to the couple revealed that sparks began to fly after a heated debate about whose net worth was more “tremendous.” What started as a playful Twitter feud quickly turned romantic when Musk reportedly slid into Trump’s DMs with the message: “I like my lovers how I like my rockets—unstoppable.”

Friends say their relationship blossomed over shared interests, including launching satellites, constructing walls (of all kinds), and debating who should get credit for inventing capitalism.

A Star-Studded Wedding
The couple is planning a lavish wedding set to take place at the International Space Station, making it the first zero-gravity gay wedding in history. Celebrity guests will include Kanye West as the officiant and Jeff Bezos as the reluctant ring bearer.

“Jeff tried to outbid me for Elon’s heart,” Trump quipped, “but I told him, ‘You’re fired.’”

The event’s catering will reportedly be handled by Chick-fil-A, which has agreed to make rainbow-wrapped chicken sandwiches for the occasion.

Policy Changes and Future Plans
The announcement has sent ripples through politics and tech. Trump has already floated plans for a new LGBTQ+ reality show called “Make America Gay Again” featuring contestants designing rainbow-themed golf courses. Musk, meanwhile, teased a new Tesla convertible called “The Lovemobile” powered entirely by glitter and good vibes.

While reactions have been mixed, the couple remains unfazed. “This is the future liberals AND conservatives want,” Musk tweeted. “Get ready for the Gay Space Age.”

Trump concluded the conference with one final statement:
“This union is HUGE, folks. The biggest, gayest merger of all time. Believe me.”