In a move that has left employees simultaneously bewildered and deeply suspicious, the CEO of MegaCorp, Bartholomew Buttercup III, has issued a company-wide ban on rainbow flags. "We're streamlining our branding," Buttercup explained in a memo that somehow managed to be both aggressively corporate and vaguely threatening. "Flags are just... distracting. Think of the productivity!" he added, conspicuously adjusting his diamond-encrusted tie.

However, sources within MegaCorp (who wish to remain anonymous for fear of being forced to wear beige suits for eternity) have revealed the truth behind the sudden flag phobia. Simultaneously with the ban, Buttercup hosted an "exclusive" Pride celebration on his private yacht, 'The Rainbow Unicorn.' This lavish affair, complete with a unicorn-shaped ice sculpture, a performance by a drag queen who charges $50,000 a gig, and an open bar stocked with only the most expensive artisanal vodka, was only accessible to employees who met a very specific set of criteria. These criteria, according to leaked documents, included: possessing at least 10 years of service, having never questioned Buttercup's questionable fashion choices, and agreeing to sign an NDA that covered literally everything.

"It was quite the rainbow extravaganza," whispered one attendee, who requested to be identified only as 'Sparklebutt.' "But you know, the champagne was definitely top-shelf. Worth the soul-selling."

MegaCorp has denied all allegations of hypocrisy, releasing a statement confirming that the ban remains in place and that any employee expressing happiness is to be immediately reprimanded with additional spreadsheets. The statement also included an artist's rendering of Mr. Buttercup riding a majestic unicorn, inexplicably wearing a tiny rainbow-colored top hat. The image ends with the tagline: 'MegaCorp: Making Inclusivity (Exclusively) For the Chosen Few Since 2024'.