In a stunning display of unintentional irony that would make even Oscar Wilde blush, Pastor Ezekiel Bile, known for his fiery sermons condemning the "lifestyle choices" of the LGBTQ+ community, has inadvertently founded the most vibrant and inclusive LGBTQ+ support group this side of the Mississippi. It all started, as these things often do, with a spectacularly misguided attempt at a 'counter-offensive' against the devilish influence of… well, everything fun.
Pastor Bile, fresh from a particularly aggressive rant about the 'rainbow plague' (his words, not mine), decided to host a 'prayer warrior' meeting to combat the perceived rise of 'sinful degeneracy.' He envisioned a room full of stern-faced individuals quoting Leviticus, but what he got was… well, let's just say it involved glitter, Beyoncé's 'Break My Soul,' and a spirited debate about the merits of different types of drag makeup.
Apparently, the flyers for the meeting, featuring a rather unfortunate (and unintentionally fabulous) graphic depicting a slightly cross-eyed cherub wielding a rainbow-colored sword, were misinterpreted. Word on the street (and in the surprisingly well-stocked wine cooler provided by a mysteriously generous anonymous donor) is that the cherub was 'giving' a whole new level of 'camp,' much to Pastor Bile's bewilderment and growing existential dread.
The group, now affectionately known as the 'Bile Bisexuals' (a name Pastor Bile vehemently denies having anything to do with), meets weekly to discuss everything from the latest episode of 'RuPaul's Drag Race' (Pastor Bile's surprisingly insightful critiques are a highlight) to the theological implications of polyamory (the debate continues, with passionate arguments from both sides). Several members have even reported that the Pastor's initial homophobia has softened, perhaps influenced by the delicious snacks and surprisingly empathetic listening skills displayed by the group.
Asked for comment, Pastor Bile, surrounded by a rainbow-colored cloud of incense and several individuals wearing fabulous headwear, simply stated, "I...I need a stiff drink." Sources confirm he is currently working on a new sermon titled, 'Acceptance: A Theological Examination of the Existential Crisis I'm Currently Experiencing.' God works in mysterious ways indeed.
