In a shocking turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Instagram fitness guru and self-proclaimed 'patriarch of peachy butts,' Chad Thundercock, has publicly denounced gender-neutral bathrooms, only to simultaneously launch a nationwide initiative to create 'gender-inclusive' spaces that look suspiciously like elaborate, rainbow-hued ball pits.

Chad, whose previous posts primarily focused on protein shakes and aggressively flexing biceps, took to Instagram live to explain his apparent paradox with a series of increasingly incoherent pronouncements involving the words 'toxic masculinity,' 'non-binary pronouns,' and 'the patriarchy's fear of glitter cannons.' His followers, naturally, immediately responded by purchasing enough rainbow-colored spandex and glitter to supply a small army of drag queens for the next decade.

The resulting ‘Gender-Fluid Rave Revolution,’ as it’s being dubbed by the increasingly enthusiastic participants, now boasts pop-up gender-inclusive spaces in every major city. These spaces, bizarrely adorned with unicorn inflatable pool toys and strategically placed tubs of edible glitter, are, according to Chad, designed to promote ‘radical self-acceptance’ and 'celebratory fluid gender expression.'

'It's all about challenging norms!' Chad screamed into the camera during a particularly glitter-intense Instagram live session. 'If we can't even agree on which bathroom to use, how can we possibly hope to achieve true world peace? Unless, of course, that world peace involves everyone wearing sparkly tutus and embracing their inner unicorn. Which it totally should.'

Critics have slammed Chad's initiative, citing concerns that the amount of glitter used could potentially cause a global climate crisis. Others have expressed dismay that the iridescent, multi-colored spaces aren't actually bathrooms, but, rather, elaborate performance art installations where participants frequently break into spontaneous interpretive dance routines. Homophobes remain… homophobes. But honestly, who can hear them over the deafening joy of thousands of people having a genuinely fabulous time?

Chad, meanwhile, continues to post shirtless photos from the Gender-Fluid Rave Revolution, adding only the cryptic hashtag #GlitterIsTheNewBlack. The world, for better or worse, watches on in fascinated horror.