In a stunning display of performative contradiction that only a true millennial could achieve, Instagram influencer Brenda Glitterbombs – known for her meticulously curated feed showcasing her collection of artisanal artisanal avocado toast and aggressively heteronormative family portraits – is leading a charge for traditional gender roles...while simultaneously wearing a gender-neutral jumpsuit.

Yes, you read that right. Brenda, whose bio proudly boasts "Wife, Mother, Lover of Capitalism," has launched a campaign titled "#RestoreThePatriarchyButMakeItFashion." Her method? Promoting gender-neutral clothing.

"It's all about reclaiming the power of choice!" Brenda declared in a now-viral TikTok featuring a montage of her wearing the same beige jumpsuit in various scenic locations. "Women should have the freedom to choose… to wear practical, androgynous jumpsuits that subtly signal their quiet dominance over the male gaze. A subtle rebellion, if you will."

Critics, however, remain unmoved. "She's literally trying to normalize men wearing women's clothes…by wearing gender-neutral clothes herself? It's like saying you're fighting poverty by wearing Gucci while sipping kombucha," declared Chad Thundercock, a self-proclaimed "alpha male" and regular commentator on Brenda's social media posts.

Further fueling the controversy, Brenda’s campaign features a limited-edition line of gender-neutral jumpsuits called "The Patriarchy Power Suit,” available in beige, off-white, and beige-ish. Each jumpsuit is hand-stitched by a team of underpaid, yet surprisingly empowered, Etsy artisans.

The irony, of course, isn’t lost on anyone except perhaps Brenda herself. But who needs consistency when you've got a meticulously crafted Instagram aesthetic to uphold and a new line of beige jumpsuits to sell? The fight for traditional gender roles has never looked so… beige.