In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly tone-deaf, Senator Bartholomew 'Bart' Bigglesworth, known for his staunchly traditional views (and remarkably low approval ratings), has legally changed his name to 'They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz' after publicly mocking the use of gender-neutral pronouns. Sources say the Senator, after a particularly fiery debate on the Senate floor involving a bill to protect gender-affirming care for goldfish (a bill he vehemently opposed, naturally), declared, "This whole they/them business is absolute poppycock! It's nonsense! I could use they/them pronouns and it wouldn't change a thing!" Challenge accepted, apparently.

Legal documents confirm the name change, which has sent shockwaves (and a healthy dose of popcorn) throughout the political landscape. Experts are baffled. "It’s like he actively sought to embody the very thing he derided," commented Professor Quentin Quibble, a gender studies expert who's currently writing a book titled, 'Decoding the Deconstructed: Understanding the Subtext of Subverted Subjectivity in Societal Structures.' The Senator's office released a statement (presumably dictated to his new, legally mandated gender-neutral pronouns) that read, "They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz is currently unavailable for comment, as They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz is busy perfecting They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz's new signature line of gender-neutral artisanal pickles."

The internet, predictably, is having a field day. Memes featuring They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz in various situations – from judging a bake-off to commanding a squadron of attack squirrels – are rapidly going viral. One particularly popular meme depicts the Senator attempting to explain their new name change to a confused-looking Sarah Palin. The reaction to this whole debacle proves one thing: sometimes, the best way to win an argument is to become a walking, talking, gender-bending example of what you claim to oppose. We here at the Daily Squawk are calling for a line of ‘Chardonnay Chaz’ branded merchandise to further fuel the delightful chaos.

This unprecedented event has left many wondering: will this inspire other conservative politicians to embrace radical self-expression as a form of satire? Will the price of gender-neutral pickles skyrocket? Will anyone ever take Bart – sorry, *They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz* – seriously again? Only time (and probably a very good lawyer) will tell.