In a stunning display of irony so thick you could spread it on toast and sell it at a bougie farmers market, renowned conservative radio host, Chad Thundercock (formerly known as Chad Thundercock – the name change is really the *pièce de résistance*, folks!), has legally changed his name to ‘They/Themself/He/She/It/Xe/Ze/Whatever-the-Heck-You-Want-to-Call-Me-Binghamton.’ The move follows his recent on-air rant where he mocked the use of gender-neutral pronouns, calling them 'woke garbage' and 'a liberal plot to steal our precious bodily fluids.'

Sources say the name change was completely spontaneous. 'Chad, or should I say, *They*, just burst into my office, a crazed gleam in their eyes,' said his lawyer, Brenda Glitterhoof. 'He – I mean, *They* – mumbled something about embracing diversity and then screamed, 'I am now a walking, talking embodiment of intersectionality!' and proceeded to do interpretive dance using only a stapler and a half-eaten bagel.'

The radio host's dramatic shift has left many scratching their heads, or perhaps more accurately, aggressively petting their gender-fluid cats in bewilderment. Critics have dubbed it 'peak performative wokeness,' a 'meta-ironic masterpiece of self-sabotage,' and 'the most unintentionally hilarious thing since that time Kanye wore a MAGA hat to a drag brunch.'

In a subsequent interview (conducted entirely in interpretive dance, naturally), Binghamton stated their new name is not merely a publicity stunt but a profound artistic statement. 'It's about fluidity, baby!' *They* declared, mid-split. 'It's about challenging societal norms! It's about… well, mostly it's about getting more clicks on my Patreon.'

Meanwhile, LGBTQ+ activists are cautiously optimistic. 'It's weird, but, uh... I guess we'll take it?', said one activist. 'At this point, if using an absurd amount of pronouns helps people understand gender inclusivity even a tiny bit, then... I'm slightly less angry. Mostly, I'm just very confused.'

The only thing clearer than Binghamton’s new name is the overwhelming sense of existential dread sweeping across conservative talk radio. The impending doom is, of course, now being broadcast in 57 different genders. Prepare yourselves.