In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and mildly bewildered shrugs through the LGBTQ+ one), controversial influencer Chad Thundercock, known for his homophobic TikTok rants and surprisingly extensive collection of MAGA hats, has inexplicably become a drag queen.
Chad, whose previous videos featured him comparing drag to 'a plague of glitter-covered Satanists,' suddenly appeared on Instagram last night sporting a full face of sickening makeup, a body-hugging gown that would make Bob Mackie weep with joy, and a stage name that simply screamed 'ironic': 'Chad Thundercunt.'
"It's a journey," Chad/Chad Thundercunt declared in a now-viral video, batting his newly-acquired eyelashes. "A journey of self-discovery. A journey that involved a rather aggressive encounter with a rogue glitter cannon at a RuPaul's Drag Race viewing party, followed by several hours of intense introspection fueled by copious amounts of Chardonnay and the entire discography of Whitney Houston."
While many are still reeling from this dramatic transformation, some suspect the incident was caused by a powerful, yet unexplained, karmic force. Others point to the influence of the 'woke mob,' suggesting that Chad was 'triggered' into embracing his inner queen by a particularly cutting tweet from Trixie Mattel.
The incident has sparked a fierce debate on social media. Conservative commentators are branding it a 'national emergency,' while prominent drag queens like Katya Zamolodchikova are reportedly offering a 'Queer 101' crash course to the newly minted queen, focusing on the importance of proper tucking techniques and the subtle art of reading people.
Chad Thundercunt's first drag performance is scheduled for next week at a local gay bar, where he plans to lip-sync to 'Born This Way' while simultaneously addressing the 'real issues' plaguing the conservative movement. The event is already sold out, tickets scalping for upwards of $500. Stay tuned for more developments in this ever-unfolding, glitter-fueled saga.
