In a shocking display of… well, something, influencer Karen Karadashian (yes, *that* Karadashian) has declared war on gender norms, sparking a firestorm of controversy that’s hotter than a Kylie Jenner lip kit launch. In a recent Instagram post (naturally), Karen, while sipping a kale smoothie and wearing a $5,000 gender-neutral onesie (sponsored, obvi), announced that gender is ‘so last season,’ akin to low-rise jeans and frosted tips.

Her statement was accompanied by a video montage featuring her performing a dramatic gender reveal – not for a baby, mind you, but for herself. Instead of blue or pink confetti, it was a rainbow explosion of glitter, because ‘inclusivity is the new black.’ Karen then proceeded to declare her new gender identity as ‘Fluid-Nebula-Unicorn-Queer-Zen-Master,’ urging her 3.7 million followers to ‘embrace their inner gender fluidity, or at least try out some gender-neutral athleisure.’

The backlash has been immediate and, frankly, predictable. Comment sections are ablaze with accusations of ‘woke-washing,’ ‘attention-seeking,’ and a bizarre number of comments inexplicably referencing the price of avocados. One particularly disgruntled commenter, identifying himself as ‘BigDaddyDave69,’ lamented, ‘Back in my day, we knew what a man and a woman were! This whole gender-neutral thing is just… *gasp*… communism!’

Meanwhile, Karen, oblivious to the outrage, is busy launching a limited-edition line of ‘Gender-Fluid Glow-in-the-Dark Leggings,’ priced at $199 a pair (but you can get 20% off if you use the code ‘QueerQueen’). Sources say she’s also considering a collaboration with RuPaul to create a gender-neutral line of drag makeup. Because why not?

In other news, scientists are baffled by the sudden increase in the demand for glitter. Coincidence? We think not.