In a stunning display of performative activism that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and delighted, renowned conservative radio host, Bartholomew 'Barty' Butterfield, has legally changed his name to 'They/Themself McMuffin' after publicly mocking the use of gender-neutral pronouns. Sources close to the situation (who, incidentally, all now identify as sentient potted plants) claim Barty's decision stems from a profound mid-life crisis triggered by a particularly potent blend of kale smoothie and Tucker Carlson reruns.
"It's about reclaiming the narrative," They/Themself McMuffin (formerly Barty Butterfield) explained in a rambling, three-hour livestream that involved interpretive dance and a surprisingly accurate rendition of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' played entirely on a kazoo. "By embracing the very pronouns I ridiculed, I'm exposing the hypocrisy of the so-called 'woke' agenda! It's like… a Trojan horse… filled with glitter and artisanal cheeses!"
The announcement was met with a mixed response. While many praised McMuffin's bold, if somewhat bewildering, move as a testament to the fluidity of identity, others remain unconvinced. One prominent member of the 'Straight-But-Not-Narrow' Facebook group commented, "Honestly, I'm more concerned about the McMuffin part. Is that even legal? I'm calling my lawyer, whose name, by the way, is now 'Mx. Fluffykins the Third.'"
The legal ramifications of the name change remain unclear. Experts predict a flurry of lawsuits, including one from a disgruntled McDonald's franchise owner claiming trademark infringement and another from a bewildered barista who accidentally handed McMuffin a sausage instead of an egg McMuffin. Meanwhile, McMuffin continues to post cryptic messages on social media, hinting at a future career as a drag queen astrophysicist and the impending release of their memoir, titled, "My Journey From Homophobic Hothead to Gender-Fluid Glamazon: A Cautionary Tale of Kale Smoothies and the Power of Pronouns." Stay tuned for updates as this bizarre saga unfolds – we suspect it'll involve more glitter, probably some interpretive dance, and almost certainly a lot of confusion.
