In a stunning display of capitalist hypocrisy that would make even Karl Marx clutch his beard (were he still alive and, you know, not dead), social media influencer Karen Karadashian has launched a dazzlingly flamboyant Pride clothing line, just weeks after vehemently denouncing what she called 'the gender-fluid garish excess' of modern LGBTQ+ trends.

'It's all become so… much,' Karadashian whined in a now-infamous TikTok, clutching a pearl necklace that probably cost more than a small developing nation's GDP. 'Honestly, the rainbow everything is just overwhelming. Where's the *subtlety*? Give me some tasteful beige, please!'

The subsequent launch of her 'Rainbow-Capitalist' collection—featuring sequined jumpsuits emblazoned with slogans like 'Love Wins (and so does my quarterly profit margin)' and 'Diversity is my Brand, Literally'—has, predictably, sent the internet into a meltdown.

'The irony is thicker than a Kylie Jenner lip filler,' tweeted one user, alongside a GIF of a confused-looking sloth. Another commenter pointed out the hypocrisy with a simple, yet devastating, meme of Karadashian's video alongside a picture of her new line, captioned: 'Before & After realizing Pride Month = $$$'.

Karadashian herself has remained conspicuously silent on the backlash, instead focusing on posting sponsored content for a new line of 'gender-neutral' (but undeniably pink) dog sweaters. Sources say her legal team is preparing a defense based on the argument that 'capitalizing on social justice movements is a constitutionally protected right,' which, frankly, might just work. After all, in today’s world, even the most blatant hypocrisy is shielded by a shiny layer of ‘authenticity’—especially when you have a well-funded PR team.

Meanwhile, the LGBTQ+ community continues to debate the merits of celebrating Pride through aggressively priced merchandise while some members struggle for basic human rights. But hey, at least the dog sweaters are adorable. Woof!