In a stunning turn of events that's less 'Gavel-to-Gavel' and more 'Wig-to-Wiggle,' Judge Theodore 'Ted' Worthington, the very judge who recently banned all drag shows within city limits, has been outed—or rather, *in-drag-ed*—as 'Justice Judy,' a surprisingly charismatic drag king who performs at underground LGBTQ+ speakeasies. Worthington, known for his staunch conservative views and belief that drag is 'an affront to traditional family values,' has reportedly been moonlighting as Justice Judy for over five years. Sources close to the case—mostly disgruntled baristas from the 'Velvet Hammer' speakeasy—confirm sightings of Worthington flawlessly executing a death drop in sparkly platform boots, all while sporting a meticulously groomed handlebar mustache.

'It's about judicial inclusivity, honey!' Justice Judy—or Worthington, depending on the setting and whether or not a full face of makeup is involved—is quoted as saying. 'I felt it was my civic duty to understand the community I was judging. And honestly, the tips are better than my judge's salary.'

This revelation has sent shockwaves (or perhaps more accurately, glitter-waves) through the city. Conservative groups are, predictably, apoplectic, citing 'moral bankruptcy' and 'a blatant hypocrisy that surpasses even the absurdity of a Kardashian Christmas special.' Meanwhile, LGBTQ+ activists are planning a protest, demanding not only the immediate overturn of the drag ban but also an increase in Justice Judy's performance schedule. 'We need more judges who understand that justice is best served with a healthy dose of lip-sync for your life,' proclaimed one activist.

The case raises important questions: Should judges be allowed to engage in extracurricular activities that directly contradict their rulings? Does the separation of church and state extend to the separation of judge and…drag? And most importantly, where can we get tickets to Justice Judy's next show? Sources say it's a hot ticket, with even Judge Worthington’s clerk allegedly on the waiting list. The legal community, meanwhile, is debating whether to adopt a new dress code involving copious amounts of sequins and feather boas. This case is, undeniably, more fabulous than it is factual.