In a move that has left the town of Harmony Glade utterly bewildered (and possibly slightly nauseous from the sheer volume of rainbow paint), Mayor Mildred McMillan has banned the display of rainbow flags on public property while simultaneously transforming her office into what can only be described as a technicolor fever dream of LGBTQ+ affirmation.

"It's about inclusivity," the Mayor declared, surrounded by shimmering rainbows that seem to pulse with a life of their own. "By banning those *small* displays of pride, we’re freeing everyone from the oppressive expectation of showing their colours. Instead, we're showing everyone our colors… ALL of them! Every hue under the sun. And some that aren't even under the sun! It’s like a pride explosion, but… more interior design-focused."

Critics, however, are less than enthused. Local resident and self-proclaimed 'straight-acting heterosexual,' Barnaby Butterfield, complained, "It’s all a bit… much. I mean, I appreciate the gesture, but I'm starting to feel like I'm living inside a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. And I haven't felt this confused since I saw that *Cats* movie."

Others have expressed concern about the environmental impact of the Mayor's rainbow makeover. Environmental activist, Willow Wisp, stated, "While we applaud the Mayor's commitment to visibility, we are worried about the amount of glitter used. Is this sustainable? Are we going to find rainbow micro-plastics in the local water supply? That would be, like, totes not cool."

The Mayor's office has not yet responded to these concerns, instead releasing a statement explaining the new paint is organically sourced, ethically harvested, and 'aesthetically pleasing to even the most discerningly heteronormative palate.' They also added that the Mayor is now accepting applications for a 'Rainbow Color Coordinator' position, which requires applicants to have a thorough knowledge of Pantone's Pride Collection and an unyielding enthusiasm for glitter cannons.

This situation continues to unfold like a particularly flamboyant episode of *RuPaul’s Drag Race*. One thing's for sure, Harmony Glade is certainly living up to its name...in the most chaotic and vibrantly queer way imaginable.