In a stunning reversal that has sent shockwaves through the already-fragile ecosystem of online discourse, Instagram influencer Brenda Glitterbomb, known for her meticulously curated avocado toast flatlays and aggressively positive affirmations, has come out… against gender-neutral bathrooms.

'It's just… *too* neutral,' Brenda declared in a tearful Instagram live, dabbing away mascara with a silk scarf. 'Where's the *fun*? The *expression*? The *kaleidoscope of pronouns*?'

Instead of embracing the bland uniformity of gender-neutral facilities, Brenda has announced the grand opening of 'Glitterbomb's Gender-Fluid Funhouse,' a multi-sensory experience designed to celebrate the full spectrum of gender identity. Think less porcelain throne, more bouncy castle filled with glitter cannons and a disco ball that changes color with the lunar cycle.

'We'll have a designated 'He/Him' bouncy castle, a 'She/Her' ball pit, a 'They/Them' trapeze school, and a non-binary sensory deprivation tank,' explained Brenda, while simultaneously launching a line of $120 'pronoun patches' emblazoned with sparkly unicorns. 'And of course, a gender-fluid Slip N' Slide with surprise rainbow endings!'

The project, funded primarily by Brenda’s lucrative line of 'self-care' crystals and organic kombucha, has drawn criticism from unexpected corners. Conservative pundit Chad Thundercock expressed concerns that the 'Gender-Fluid Funhouse' might 'normalize gender confusion among children,' although he admitted he'd 'never been so tempted to slide down a rainbow in my life.'

Meanwhile, Brenda’s followers remain staunchly supportive. 'This is the inclusivity I've been craving!' gushed one comment under the announcement post, immediately followed by another requesting a customized 'Xe/Xem' section in the Funhouse. Brenda responded with a GIF of a unicorn riding a rainbow and a price quote for bespoke pronoun-themed unicorn plushies.

The 'Gender-Fluid Funhouse' is scheduled to open next month, promising an experience so utterly extravagant and wonderfully chaotic that it could only be conceived in the hyper-saturated reality of modern influencer culture. Critics are already predicting record-breaking attendance and an unprecedented surge in demand for gender-affirming bouncy castles. The future, apparently, is sparkly, fluid, and totally, gloriously ridiculous.