In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the conservative community (and possibly triggered a few aneurysms), Barnaby Butterfield, a staunch opponent of same-sex marriage and self-proclaimed 'defender of traditional values,' has married his identical twin brother, Bartholomew, in a ceremony described by attendees as "a dazzling display of flamboyant fabulousness." The wedding, held at a repurposed mega-church now called 'The Haus of Holy Matrimony,' featured a seven-tiered cake shaped like a rainbow unicorn, a drag queen choir belting out show tunes, and a surprise appearance by a very sweaty, possibly-inebriated RuPaul.

Butterfield, known for his fiery speeches at anti-LGBTQ+ rallies where he once famously compared gay marriage to 'marrying a toaster,' has remained strangely tight-lipped about the nuptials. Sources whisper that his 'conversion therapy' – involving nightly viewings of *Queer Eye* and mandatory participation in drag queen bingo – may have had... unforeseen consequences. 'He’s always been a bit of a closet case,' his former spokesperson, Brenda, stated cryptically, adding, "I mean, those tight-fitting trousers he used to wear... you could practically read the rainbow stripes through them."

The internet, predictably, is ablaze. Conservative commentators are grappling with cognitive dissonance, frantically tweeting things like "This is cultural Marxism!" and "They're trying to normalize... uh... twins marrying... how is this even possible?" Meanwhile, the LGBTQ+ community is celebrating this unexpected victory, viewing it as a symbolic triumph over homophobia. One Twitter user, @GayborhoodBarbie, summed it up perfectly: "Honey, this is what we call a 'divine intervention' – a little bit of irony, a whole lotta glitter, and a whole lot of ‘yas queen.’" Butterfield’s lawyers have yet to issue a statement, but sources say they’re working on a clause to prevent any ‘non-identical twin’ legal challenges.