In a move that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative establishment (and slightly confused the algorithm of the dating app Hinge), beloved action star Keanu Reeves has not only starred in, but *fully embraced*, the role of Neo in a groundbreaking LGBTQ+ rom-com: 'Matrix Reloaded: Love is Love (and a Little Algorithm)'.

The film, which sees Neo navigating the complexities of a relationship with a sentient AI named Agent Smith (voiced by a surprisingly tender-hearted Elon Musk), has been lauded by critics as ‘a masterpiece of queer cinema that will make your heart sing and your binary code tingle.’

One particularly poignant scene involves Neo and Agent Smith sharing a deeply meaningful exchange over artisanal avocado toast, a moment described by director Greta Gerwig as 'the most powerful depiction of queer intimacy since Brokeback Mountain, but with way better bread.'

Conservative pundits are, understandably, having a meltdown. One prominent commentator, whose name shall remain nameless to protect the already fragile ecosystem of their fragile worldview, called the film 'a blatant assault on traditional values… and a tragic waste of perfectly good avocado toast'. Another, known for her uncanny ability to locate outrage in the most mundane things (and for somehow always having an extra-large venti iced caramel macchiato within reach), accused the film of 'cultural appropriation… of the emotional spectrum.'

Meanwhile, Reeves himself remains unfazed, stating in a recent interview, ‘Whoa. Love is love, man. And algorithms are pretty cool, too. Especially when they help you find the perfect artisanal sourdough.’

The film’s success has inspired calls for a sequel, tentatively titled 'Matrix Revolutions: Polyamorous Neo and the Algorithm of Consent.' Stay tuned… and maybe invest in some good avocado toast. You’ll need it.