In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly caused a minor earthquake in Texas), mega-hunk Chad Thundercock, known for his roles in critically acclaimed films like 'Biceps of Steel 2: Electric Boogaloo' and 'Six-Pack Abs: The Revenge,' has vehemently denied rumors of his bisexuality. This denial came mere moments before he announced his participation in the upcoming season of a completely revamped 'RuPaul's Drag Race,' rebranded as 'RuPaul's Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience.'

Sources say Thundercock's denial was delivered with the force of a thousand suns, accompanied by a dramatic flexing of his biceps and a surprisingly eloquent quote: "I may love myself, which is perfectly acceptable, and I may also love, you know... *doing* myself… but I am a heterosexual man! … or am I?", he concluded, with a knowing wink and a subtle, yet undeniably fabulous, hip-pop.

The new season of 'RuPaul's Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience' will reportedly feature a cast entirely comprised of drag queens with names like 'Chad Thundercock Jr.,' 'Mini-Thundercock,' and 'Chad Thundercock's Left Bicep.' The show will explore deep themes of masculinity, self-discovery, and the existential dread of having to shave twice a day, all while incorporating Thundercock's surprisingly keen knowledge of gender fluidity and his own personal quest for enlightenment – involving several sessions with a particularly enthusiastic shaman in Sedona.

Critics have already hailed this unexpected turn of events as a masterpiece of meta-irony, while homophobic social media comment sections have exploded in a spectacular display of fragile masculinity. One particularly incendiary comment, swiftly deleted by moderators, read, "They're turning the freakin' frogs gay! And now Chad Thundercock?! It's the end times!"

When asked about the controversy, RuPaul simply replied, "Honey, if you can't handle Chad Thundercock's journey of self-discovery, you better sashay away!" The statement, widely interpreted as a battle cry for LGBTQ+ liberation and the inevitable downfall of societal norms, was followed by a perfectly timed perfectly timed lip-sync to "Break Free" by Ariana Grande. The world waits with bated breath, perfectly moisturized and ready for anything.