In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze with more GIFs than a Taylor Swift concert, Republican Representative Bartholomew Bigglesworth, known for his staunch opposition to gay marriage (and his equally staunch belief that mayonnaise is a vegetable), accidentally officiated the wedding of renowned drag queens, Bob the Drag Queen and Trixie Mattel.
The ceremony, held in a surprisingly flamboyant gazebo in the middle of a cornfield (because, of course), saw Bigglesworth, in a ill-fitting suit and a wig that clearly hadn't seen a decent hairspray since the Reagan administration, fumble through the vows. Sources say he repeatedly mispronounced 'Bob' as 'Robert,' leading to a moment of delicious awkwardness only surpassed by the sheer audacity of the entire situation.
"It was… unexpected," stammered Bigglesworth to reporters, his face a shade of crimson only a particularly aggressive beet could achieve. "I thought I was officiating a very… *enthusiastic* bluegrass festival. Turns out, enthusiastic bluegrass is really just a euphemism for a drag queen wedding with a full gospel choir."
The internet, predictably, went wild. Memes featuring Bigglesworth's runaway wig, a la that iconic scene from *The Wizard of Oz*, flooded social media, alongside hilarious photoshops placing him in various iconic drag queen looks. Some have even suggested adding the event to the Met Gala's list of historical moments. One particularly popular meme depicts Bigglesworth in a full-blown RuPaul's Drag Race makeover, crowned the new winner of All Stars 99.
Naturally, the woke brigade seized the moment, interpreting the whole affair as a divine comedy – a divine comedy so ironic, so inherently absurd, it couldn't have happened any other way. The hashtag #BigglesworthWoreWigs is currently trending globally, generating more engagement than Bigglesworth's entire political career combined. It's a stark reminder that even the most resistant hearts can be melted, wig-blown, and subsequently memeified into accepting the glorious technicolor chaos of modern LGBTQ+ acceptance. Or, at least, that's what the LGBTQ+ community is suggesting, alongside their relentless stream of well-deserved memes and an overwhelming demand for the video footage of Bigglesworth trying to pronounce Trixie Mattel’s name. Oh, and also a petition to add 'wigs flying off' to the list of acceptable expressions of marital bliss.
This leaves us with one burning question: will Representative Bigglesworth re-evaluate his stance on gay marriage? Or will this unforgettable (and highly memeable) experience only solidify his determination to stick to his outdated beliefs and that particularly stubborn mayonnaise-as-a-vegetable opinion? Only time, and the merciless whims of the internet, will tell.
