In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion (and a few poorly-concealed hissy fits) through the influencer community, renowned Instagram fitness guru Chad Thundercock has announced a complete 180 on his stance on gender-neutral bathrooms. Initially, Chad, known for his meticulously curated physique and even more meticulously curated Instagram feed, voiced strong opposition to such facilities, declaring them 'unhygienic' and 'a breeding ground for…well, you know.' His statement was promptly met with a chorus of 'cancelled' cries and the collective eye-roll of the internet.

However, in a dramatic twist worthy of a Netflix docu-series, Chad’s recent experience with a particularly aggressive Karen (who insisted on calling him 'Chadwick' and demanded he 'get back in the kitchen' while simultaneously complaining about the lack of floral wallpaper in the gender-neutral restroom) has apparently sparked a profound epiphany. Instead of doubling down on his antiquated views, Chad has launched a campaign to create 'gender-fluid oases' – lavish, gender-inclusive restrooms featuring aromatherapy diffusers, organic cotton towels, and a curated selection of gender-neutral artisanal soaps handcrafted by ethically-sourced, gender-nonconforming Himalayan yak herders.

The 'oases,' according to Chad's Instagram post (accompanied by a picture of himself flexing in a sequined, gender-bending jumpsuit), will also boast 'sacred spaces for self-expression,' including but not limited to: a designated crying corner, a glitter bar, and a ‘safe space’ where one can practice their ‘inner Beyoncé’ while contemplating the complexities of gender identity. Initial reactions have been…mixed. Many applaud Chad's newfound enlightenment, while others (mostly Karens and the aforementioned Himalayan yak herders who were never actually consulted) remain skeptical and fear this will lead to an unprecedented surge in gender-neutral yoga classes and kale smoothies. Chad, however, remains unfazed, quoting RuPaul and suggesting that ‘if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?’ The question now is: will the rest of the world catch up, or will we be left to ponder the profound mysteries of Chad Thundercock's evolving worldview?