In a move that's baffled even the most seasoned political pundits, Senator Mildred Smith, known for her staunchly traditional views, has come out against gay adoption. However, in a surprising twist that's left Washington buzzing louder than a beehive full of caffeinated bees, Senator Smith has proposed a radical, albeit somewhat unsettling, alternative: human cloning.

'While I firmly believe that the sanctity of the traditional nuclear family – the one with 2.5 kids, a minivan, and a crippling mortgage – must be upheld,' Senator Smith declared at a press conference yesterday, 'I also recognize the undeniable need for more loving homes for our nation's children. And what better way to ensure a child grows up in a loving environment than to create a genetically identical copy of a responsible, heterosexual parent?'

The senator's office declined to comment on the logistical challenges of mass-producing cloned children or the potential for unforeseen psychological consequences for both clones and their 'parents'. When pressed about the ethical implications, a spokesperson simply stated, 'We're working with the best scientists money can buy. They haven't perfected the 'no-evil-twin' algorithm yet, but they're close.'

Critics have slammed the proposal as 'utterly absurd' and 'potentially dystopian', but Senator Smith remains unfazed. 'If we can clone a sheep, we can surely clone a loving, stable family unit,' she confidently declared, adding, 'Although I do admit, the whole 'Dolly the Sheep' thing had some...unintended side effects. We're still working on that whole 'sudden death at 6 years old' issue.' She then winked and handed out pamphlets promoting her new line of 'Senator Smith's All-Natural Cloning Kits' (sold separately, results may vary).