In a move that has left the internet in a state of utter bewilderment (and a few suspiciously well-timed meltdowns on Twitter), mega-corp CEO, Reginald Hardcastle III, has simultaneously banned all rainbow-themed advertisements from his company's portfolio while simultaneously debuting a shimmering, sequined, full-rainbow power suit that would make even RuPaul do a double-take.

The announcement came during a company-wide Zoom call, where a visibly flustered Hardcastle, resplendent in his new ensemble (which, according to sources, cost more than a small island nation's GDP), explained his decision. "The rainbow… it's… *too* much," he stammered, his voice barely audible over the collective gasp of his employees. "It's… *divisive*. We need to focus on… *neutral* colours. Like… beige. Lots and lots of beige."

The internet, of course, immediately exploded. Conspiracy theories ranged from Hardcastle secretly being the next drag superstar (stage name: Reggie Hardcastle-III-licious) to his suit being a sophisticated attempt at reverse-psychology marketing (if that's even a thing). Some suggested the ban was purely a cost-cutting measure; after all, those rainbow-colored LEDs are expensive.

But the real question remains: is this the ultimate display of performative allyship gone wrong, a desperate attempt to appear 'woke' while subtly signaling his disdain for the LGBTQ+ community, or just a really, really bad fashion choice? The fact that he’s scheduled a company-wide sensitivity training session immediately following his planned appearance on "The View" suggests a degree of strategic chaos that only a true marketing maverick could conceive. Whatever the case, one thing's for sure: Reginald Hardcastle III has officially achieved the impossible – making beige fashionable. Just for a moment. Until the next shade of rainbow explodes on the corporate landscape.