In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and deeply amused, renowned anti-trans activist and noted expert on topics she clearly doesn't understand, Agnes Periwinkle, has launched a groundbreaking new makeup line specifically designed for transgender women. The line, cheekily titled "Trans-Formative," features a range of products with names like "Stealth Mode Foundation" (promises undetectable coverage, even from the most eagle-eyed bathroom police), "Hormone-Harmonizing Highlighter" (allegedly contains unicorn tears and the hopes and dreams of cisgender conservatives), and "Gender-Bending Brow Gel" (apparently capable of single-handedly ending the gender wars...or at least causing mild eyebrow confusion).
Periwinkle, in a press release that smelled faintly of desperation and old-lady perfume, stated that the line is "a testament to her unwavering commitment to helping transgender women...blend in seamlessly with society...so they can conveniently be ignored." She also revealed her personal favorite product is the "Cis-Passing Concealer," which, according to Periwinkle, "works wonders on that pesky 'transgender' look."
Critics, however, have voiced concerns that the line might be a cynical attempt to profit from a community Periwinkle has actively worked to marginalize. One Twitter user wryly commented, "I'm sure all the proceeds will go directly towards funding more anti-trans legislation… after, of course, Agnes buys a new yacht." Others have suggested the line is simply a performance art piece exploring the absurdity of modern capitalism, which, in fairness, is also a pretty solid explanation.
Regardless of Periwinkle's motivations, one thing is certain: the internet is having a field day. Memes are flying faster than a poorly-thrown brick at a pride parade, and several high-profile drag queens have announced plans to use the makeup line to create looks so extravagant they would make Periwinkle spontaneously combust from sheer cognitive dissonance. The battle for the soul of makeup, it seems, is far from over.
