In a shocking turn of events that has left the heteronormative community reeling, renowned gender fluidity activist, Brenda ‘Brenda-licious’ McMuffin, has taken drastic action against what she calls the ‘cis-normative tyranny’ of gendered restrooms. Instead of advocating for inclusivity within existing systems – the *boooring* route – Brenda has banned public restrooms entirely, declaring them ‘toxic spaces of binary oppression.’

McMuffin, whose flamboyant wardrobe rivals that of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Trinity the Tuck, has instead built a meticulously designed, gender-neutral bathroom in her own home. This ‘sanctuary of self-expression,’ as she calls it, boasts rainbow-colored plumbing, genderless soap dispensers (labeled simply ‘Cleanse Thyself, Darling’), and a wall-mounted disco ball for optimal ‘inner-self exploration.’

'It's a statement,' McMuffin declared during a press conference held entirely inside her new bathroom (guests were asked to remove all gender-identifying attire before entry). 'I refuse to compromise my authentic self by using a bathroom designed by people who still think the world is neatly divided into pink and blue boxes. They're stuck in 1950s sitcoms; I'm living in a kaleidoscopic future of gender fluidity!'

The move has drawn both praise and condemnation. Conservative groups, like the ‘Bathroom Brigade of Traditional Values’ (a name that, ironically, sounds like a drag queen troupe), have denounced McMuffin's actions as a dangerous precedent, threatening to ‘bring back separate water fountains for people who aren't certain if they’re on Team Thighs or Team Abs.’

Meanwhile, local businesses are facing a plumbing crisis of epic proportions. The sheer number of people now resorting to ‘creative solutions’ in public has led to numerous reports of ‘accidental’ urination in flowerbeds and several instances of ‘interspecies’ bathroom usage (apparently, squirrels are notorious for their lack of gender identification). This is expected to result in a significant increase in cleaning costs, as well as a boom in the market for ‘biodegradable, gender-neutral’ leaf mulch.

The whole situation raises the question: is Brenda McMuffin a hero, a villain, or simply a very stylish individual with some truly unconventional plumbing solutions? The answer, it seems, is…complicated. And possibly slightly damp.