In a shocking turn of events that has left the internet in stitches (and possibly a little confused), Bartholomew Chumley, CEO of the notoriously conservative sock company 'Straight-Laced Socks,' has accidentally sponsored this year's Pride parade. Chumley, known for his staunch belief that socks should only come in shades of beige and 'manly grey,' apparently signed a sponsorship deal believing it was for a 'Straight-Laced Socks' convention in Boise, Idaho.

'I thought Boise had a massive sock convention,' Chumley stated in a press conference, visibly sweating and clutching a rainbow-colored sock puppet. 'I'm not sure how the glitter got on my tie. Or why everyone is wearing... *that*. It's just socks, people!' He then proceeded to attempt to explain the difference between a 'heteronormative argyle' and a 'bi-curious stripe' to a bewildered reporter.

The mix-up has resulted in 'Straight-Laced Socks' floats being overtaken by enthusiastic drag queens and a significant increase in sales of their (now ironically) rainbow-colored socks. The company’s official statement, released after several hours of crisis talks involving a surprisingly large amount of rainbow-colored cake, insists it was 'a simple clerical error' and they are 'absolutely committed to rectifying the situation... by possibly adding more beige to their color palette.'

Meanwhile, Pride organizers are reportedly overjoyed at the unexpected sponsorship, suggesting that Chumley’s accidental donation may help fund next year's parade, allowing them to purchase even more glitter cannons and giant inflatable unicorns. Chumley, however, has vowed to focus on 'socks that are strictly, undeniably, and aggressively heterosexual,' whatever that means. We might need another sock puppet to explain it to us.