In a shocking twist that has sent ripples of glitter and confusion across the city, Mayor Mildred McCheese, known for her less-than-enthusiastic stance on LGBTQ+ issues (she once referred to Pride parades as 'a colorful traffic jam'), was spotted at last weekend's Pride parade… in disguise. Sources claim the mayor, attempting to blend in with the vibrant crowd, donned a ridiculously oversized rainbow tutu, a pair of sparkly rainbow Crocs (size 14, apparently), and a ludicrously large wig that resembled a particularly flamboyant poodle. Witnesses describe her attempting to 'vogue' (and failing spectacularly) while simultaneously trying to discreetly hand out pamphlets for her new 'heteronormative highway expansion project.'

One attendee, a drag queen named Sasha Fierce-a-lot, commented, "Honey, I almost choked on my rainbow sherbet when I saw her. It was like watching a conservative grandma attempt a TikTok dance challenge – painful, yet strangely captivating. The irony was thicker than a drag queen's contour. Did she think nobody would recognize her? Girl, bye! She even tried to subtly offer me a coupon for a 'traditional family values' restaurant. Bless her heart."

Political analysts are baffled, with theories ranging from a desperate PR stunt to a sudden, inexplicable awakening. Professor Quentin Quibble, a renowned expert on the performative aspects of political hypocrisy, stated, "Mayor McCheese's actions embody a uniquely modern brand of performative allyship. It's like when someone says 'I'm not racist, but...' only, instead of 'racist,' it's 'homophobic.' The disguise, the failed dance moves, the aggressively heteronormative pamphlet – it's all a fascinating study in the subtle art of political camouflage."

The mayor's office has yet to release a statement, though rumors circulate that a new city ordinance will mandate rainbow crosswalks... but only on Tuesdays. The investigation into the whereabouts of that missing city budget continues… as does the speculation surrounding the true nature of Mayor McCheese's rather flamboyant wardrobe malfunction. One thing's for sure: This Pride was anything but dull.