In a stunning turn of events that has the internet ablaze (and not just with glitter), Chad Thundercock, star quarterback for the perpetually losing 'Patriots' (they're still mourning the loss of Tom Brady, apparently), has refused to wear his team's Pride jerseys, sparking outrage...and a surprisingly lucrative business venture.

Chad, known for his heteronormative physique and surprisingly delicate flower arrangements on his Instagram, declared the Pride jerseys 'too flamboyant for my manly sensibilities.' This, naturally, sent the Twitterati into a frenzy. Some accused him of homophobia, others of missing the memo on the last 10 years of societal progress. The less charitable referred to his biceps as 'man-sized baked potatoes'.

But Chad, ever the entrepreneur (and let's be honest, probably a secret 'Queer Eye' binge-watcher), saw an opportunity. He immediately launched 'Thundercock Rainbows,' a brand of aggressively rainbow-hued athletic wear that he describes as "embracing the full spectrum of masculinity—and making a damn fortune doing it."

The collection includes neon pink compression shorts emblazoned with the slogan "Hetero-flexibility is my superpower," tank tops with images of Chad flexing in front of a unicorn, and a line of muscle-enhancing protein shakes named after various drag queens. (RuPaul's 'Girl, You Look Good' protein blend is apparently a best-seller.)

'It's about reclaiming the rainbow,' Chad explained in an interview conducted exclusively through interpretive dance (naturally), 'and proving that even a straight, muscular, conventionally attractive man can profit from the power of rainbow capitalism.'

Critics argue his move is cynical, that he's hijacking a movement for profit. But others, like RuPaul himself (who apparently owns 51% of Thundercock Rainbows), see it as a bold, unexpected step towards...well, more rainbow capitalism. Either way, with sales booming and a 'Queer Eye'-inspired makeover on the horizon, Chad Thundercock might just prove that homophobia can be a surprisingly profitable business model. Who knew?