In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and aroused, Chad Thundercock, CEO of the ironically named 'Straight-Laced Solutions,' has banned all rainbow-themed advertisements from his company's marketing campaigns. His reasoning? 'They're too… *gay*. And not in the fun, fabulous, RuPaul's Drag Race kind of way. More like, 'accidentally stumbled into a glitter bomb at a Pride parade' kind of gay.'

However, just hours after issuing this decree – a decree that sent shockwaves through the already fragile ecosystem of corporate wokeness – Thundercock was spotted attending a charity gala in a dazzling, full-length rainbow jumpsuit. The jumpsuit, described by eyewitnesses as possessing 'enough sequins to blind a small nation,' is reportedly handmade from ethically sourced unicorn tears and the hopes and dreams of marginalized communities.

'It's a strategic move,' explained Thundercock's publicist, Tiffany Sparklebottom, her name itself a delicious irony considering the situation. 'Chad is subtly subverting the patriarchy by embracing the very thing he claims to oppose. It's performance art! Like, if Banksy designed a jumpsuit and then had it delivered by a fleet of glitter-covered roller-skating bears.'

Critics, however, are less than impressed. 'It's blatant queer-baiting,' declared one irate commentator on Twitter, forgetting the perfectly rainbow-colored bird emoji they used to punctuate their tweet. Another, sporting a profile picture of a very confused-looking pug, added, 'This whole thing just smells like a desperate attempt to tap into the lucrative LGBTQ+ market. He's using the gay community like a human rainbow ladder to climb his way to even greater wealth!'

Thundercock's actions have sparked an intense debate online, with some praising his commitment to irony and others accusing him of cultural appropriation. Meanwhile, the rainbow jumpsuit is already trending on Etsy. And let's be honest, we're all a little bit curious to see what he'll wear to the next board meeting.