In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the already fragile ecosystem of right-wing media, renowned conservative talk show host, Bartholomew ‘Barty’ Bigglesworth III, has legally changed his name to ‘They/Themself/Susanna.’ The move follows weeks of increasingly unhinged rants against the use of pronouns, culminating in a televised meltdown where he accidentally referred to a potted plant as ‘she/her’ and then promptly blamed the ‘woke agenda’ for his apparent horticultural misgendering.

Sources close to Bigglesworth (or should we say, Bigglesworths?) claim the name change was a ‘strategic maneuver’ to ‘own the libs’ by embracing the very thing he so vehemently opposes. One insider, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being ‘cancelled’ (or perhaps ‘re-gendered’), whispered, ‘Barty always was a bit of a drama queen. He thought if he adopted all the pronouns, he could somehow expose their inherent absurdity. It’s…complicated.’

The change has already sparked fierce debate among conservatives. Some hail it as a brilliant act of trolling, while others accuse Bigglesworth of secretly being a ‘deep-cover trans ally’ – a conspiracy theory fueled by the fact that his new middle name, ‘Susanna,’ sounds suspiciously like ‘Susan,’ a name that some experts say is inherently ‘feminine energy.’

Legal experts, meanwhile, are baffled. One leading attorney commented, ‘I’ve seen a lot of bizarre legal filings in my time, but a name change that incorporates three separate pronouns…well, that's a new level of…something. I’m not even sure what that something is.’

Bigglesworth (They/Themself/Susanna) has yet to comment publicly, presumably because they/themself/Susanna is busy crafting a new line of ‘anti-pronoun’ merchandise featuring ironic gender-neutral onesies and ironic pronoun pins that cost $999 each. The irony, of course, is lost on nobody. Except maybe Barty. Or, rather, They/Themself/Susanna.