In a shocking twist that's left conservatives clutching their pearls (and possibly their rosaries), Senator Thaddeus 'Thad' Buttercup, the man who single-handedly tried to ban drag events in his state, citing concerns about 'moral decay' (and the suspiciously loud 'sashay shanté' echoing from his neighbor's basement), has been accidentally thrust into the spotlight... as the star of a high-budget, all-vegan drag show.
The incident occurred during a charity gala benefitting 'Save the Gays, but Only the Really Chic Ones' — a charity founded by Senator Buttercup himself, naturally. Following a disastrous attempt to shut down the show (which involved a very public and somewhat pathetic seizure of the 'RuPaul's Drag Race' season finale DVD set), Buttercup found himself mysteriously hypnotized (or, as some witnesses claim, 'heavily influenced by the power of glitter') backstage.
What transpired next is, frankly, legendary. Clad in a sequined jumpsuit that only a particularly flamboyant peacock could love, and sporting a frankly outrageous blonde wig that rivaled Dolly Parton's most ambitious creation, Senator Buttercup took to the stage. His performance, described by one audience member as a 'masterclass in accidental drag,' involved interpretive dance to 'Born This Way' (ironically, played on a record player), a surprisingly moving rendition of 'I Will Survive,' and a dramatic lip-sync battle against a prize-winning shih tzu.
'It was a divine intervention,' Buttercup stammered to reporters later, clutching a half-eaten vegan cupcake. 'The spirits told me to embrace my inner queen... or something. The lighting was excellent, I have to admit.'
Social media has since exploded, with conservatives accusing the Senator of either 'a profound betrayal of the American people' or 'being secretly fabulous,' depending on their caffeine intake. Meanwhile, a crowdfunding campaign to finance Senator Buttercup's 'accidentally fabulous' drag career has skyrocketed, surpassing its goal to provide him with a custom-made, ethically-sourced, gender-fluid wardrobe by 17,000%. He's even rumored to be launching his own line of vegan drag makeup, tentatively titled: 'Buttercup's Bitchy Blends.' Apparently, the moral decay is proving highly profitable.
