In a plot twist more dramatic than a season finale of RuPaul's Drag Race, Pastor Thaddeus Bile, known for his fiery sermons against the "lifestyle choices" of the LGBTQ+ community, has undergone a stunning transformation. After a particularly impassioned Sunday sermon decrying the supposed moral decay brought on by same-sex marriage, Pastor Bile experienced… well, let's just say a divine intervention that involved a glitter bomb, a very persuasive drag queen named Bobbi Pin, and a surprisingly insightful conversation with a gender-fluid alpaca named Kevin.

The result? Pastor Bile has not only embraced the LGBTQ+ community with the fervor of a thousand conversion therapists on a sugar rush, but has also become their unlikely champion. His new ministry, "Rainbow Redemption Ranch," offers LGBTQ+ youth a safe space filled with glitter cannons, interpretive dance therapy sessions, and weekly drag brunches.

"It was a true awakening," Pastor Bile confessed in a recent interview, wearing a sequined vest and a pair of ridiculously high heels. "I saw the light, or rather, the fabulous rainbow light, and it was so much more illuminating than those dusty old scriptures."

Critics, of course, have been predictably… unamused. One outspoken opponent, a man identified only as "Gary from Accounting," described the situation as "an absolute abomination. My wife, Brenda, says that's not even a real word. Brenda's really upset." Another proclaimed that the whole situation was "a slippery slope to… to… more glitter!"

However, Pastor Bile remains unfazed. He's currently planning a Pride parade float that will feature a giant, animatronic version of himself (in drag) battling a monstrous representation of homophobia fashioned from old copies of the 'Westboro Baptist Church's newsletter. The float, he promises, will be the 'most fabulous act of divine intervention you've ever witnessed.' And with his newfound flair for the dramatic, we wouldn't bet against him.